For someone who has whole-heartedly failed at blogging this year – it’s amazing how many emails and comments I still get about Countryfille (and how much traffic – thanks Google!).
I launched back in 2011 when I was on maternity leave when blogging was just starting out; it was simply meant to be a digital scrapbook that would allow me my ‘daily hit’ of writing, whilst documenting my shift from central London magazine editor, single gal about town to pregnant wife in rural Devon.
Nearly 7 years on it has charted motherhood, loss, new beginnings, house moves and now…. a new career.
For new readers, a potted history of the last couple of years: I took an extended maternity leave with Raf in 2015 as I lost my mum 6 weeks before he arrived. What followed was an intense 6 months of the deepest grief, coupled with the confusion of the greatest joy. Having intend to go back to work after 6 months my return date came and went and I decided I needed longer to find my new normal. I’ve written about grief in previous posts, but I think the period of adjustment after losing someone you love is really hard to explain. Grief isn’t something that gradually fades; for me time isn’t a healer either. After losing both my parents I’ve realised that its about adjustment and learning to live with your ‘new normal’ – my life looks and feels completely different now, as does the future I had planned out in my mind – we moved back to Devon from London so my parents could watch their grandchildren grow up. Something they now won’t be able to do and makes being here all the harder without them.
Not only am I a completely different person for the experience I had caring for both my terminally ill parents, but my outlook on life and relationships is all new too. It takes time to refocus, to regroup – but dare I say it: I feel comfortable with the new me.
Grief also makes me completely and utterly mute. I can’t write or think creatively – it’s just white noise. Not much use as a blogger. But oh how I’ve missed it!
So here I am, 7 years on – in my day-to-day life I spend my time creating exciting content for other people’s businesses, written in their brand voice and with the aim of talking directly to their audience… but I’ve missed talking to mine! I’ve been a journalist/writer/editor for 13 years and having that ‘writer’s voice’ is something that is inherently part of me. When I don’t put pen to paper (well, fingers to keyboard) it’s like I’ve got all these ideas and thoughts and conversations in my head and I’m not sharing them! My prep school headmaster said at age 8 I had ‘verbal diarrhoea‘ – and now I’ve made a career out of it, ha.
Jokes aside, this blog is the perfect outlet for me, something that’s all mine and where I get to be unapologetically me – share what tickles my fancy with no agenda and it feels full of endless possibilities and creative freedom… join me?
